The “3-6-9 rule” is a popular modern dating guideline used to set communication and expectation milestones in the early stages of a new relationship. It suggests a structured timeline for texting and dates to balance interest with healthy pacing.

The rule outlines three phases:

The 3-Day Rule: After getting someone’s number or a good first date, wait three days before initiating contact again. This is intended to avoid appearing overly eager or needy.
The 6-Week Rule: By six weeks, you should have a clearer sense of mutual interest and compatibility. The rule suggests that if you are not regularly seeing each other or defining the relationship by this point, it may not progress into something serious.
The 3-Month Rule: At the three-month (or 90-day) mark, the rule proposes you should know if the relationship has long-term potential. This is seen as a reasonable period to assess deeper compatibility, meet friends, and decide if you want to be exclusive.

It’s important to understand that this is an informal guideline, not a scientific formula. While it can provide a loose framework for those navigating modern dating, rigid adherence can feel unnatural and may not account for the unique connection between two individuals. Healthy relationships are built on mutual interest and authentic communication, not arbitrary timelines.

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For perspectives on relationship advice and communication, you can explore resources from psychology-focused outlets like Psychology Today.